Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Twas a very merry christmas

We had a lot of fun last night with that certain MR SomeOne playing Mr Claus. He was delighted that Braden was not afraid of him too much, and in fact, sat on his lap for EVERYBODY'S family picture!! Usually we cannot get Braden to sit still for a picture, but last night he sat on Santa's lap a long while.
We missed our Idaho kids being there; the only good thought was that Santa's lap and knees didn't get broken from real big kids sitting on him!! hahaha. The younger generation is certainly growing up fast.
Other than that, WE MISS YOU!!
Tim took the time to use the web cam around his house today to show us and Steve's family around the Idaho house, and to show us the snow outside still lingering on the ground. Thanks, Tim, that was a special treat. Tracy got to give TnT some dog training advice as well, since TnT have a new Corgi puppy to train as a service dog for Will.
After we opened gifts here today, we went to The Jarvi house again and had coffee and doughnuts yum yum. Then we came home and had the Pope Ave Kellys join us for our taco fest. and Kim added her enchiladas this year; delicious as usual.
Kim and Jordan are off to MAUI tomorrow with Jordan's gramma Carole; the rest of us are jealous, but hope they have a wonderful time! Aloha!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Thanks to family and friends who sent Christmas Cards our way; we love getting them and love the pictures of kids who growing up so fast. Forgive me for not getting cards out this year except per email. The old arms and hands just fail me sometimes for letter writing, but keyboarding is a bit easier when I can get to it.
Sunday evening we went with The Jarvi and Kim and Jordan to see a cul-de-sac neighborhood of extremely well decorated and lit up houses in Valencia. It was a lighted wonderland. Lights were strung across streets, and yards were decorated to the hilt with Christmas themes. Mostly Santa themes but there was a manger or 2 as well. Several of the apparent home owners were in their driveways with firepits blazing, and even offered hot chocolate or candy canes to spectators. It was lovely! However, it was so darn COLD!! Our car temp read 44 degrees outside. Can you imagine SoCal beach bums in 44 degree weather?? Well, we whine! And complain that "IT'S TOO COLD". I thought I was going to freeze my begonias off! But we all did well in spite of ourselves and enjoyed the gawking at lights.
Christmas Eve we will be at the Jarvi house with Santa, and Christmas Day we will be home for our annual taco fest with the people from Pope Ave and whomever else shows up. Things get fractured when you have to share your kids and their families with their in laws, or when your kids move on to better pastures as in Idaho. But the blessings continue and we rejoice and are thankful for good extended families, and pray everyone has many blessings and good health in 2008.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

time flys (or is it flies?)

pics are of Jordan and Braden and little Hudson, taken last week.
Time passes too quickly! Over a month has passed along to the great bin of history, and I wonder what the heck I have been doing because it seems there is nothing to blog about. But I know I been busy! Busy with every day living. Mike fixes me a great breakfast on my work days so I can get to work fortified with protein to carry me through the day. He does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, takes care of the yard, and takes care of grandkids when needed. And then he prints jobs on the press in the garage whenever he can fit them into his busy schedule. Me, I just go to work when scheduled then crochet when home. What a blessed life! And I am thankful for every day of this routine! No current crises to deal with.
We got an artificial Christmas tree in the after-Christmas sales last year. So Mike put it up for the first time last week. It is real nice, and won't dry out to become a tinderbox, so we can leave it up til the cows come home or the creek rises. Nice!
Next week at work we are having a call center mini-health fair with agent appreciation day. that means free lunch... of subway sandwiches... no more grease laden pizzas for us now... our boss is on a health kick. darn it. I am expected to take blood pressures of those who want theirs checked. I hope I don't blurt out with dumb ass things like "holy smokes, why hasn't your fat head blowed off yet, yer pressure is so high!!" I will try to act professional, but that is so difficult!
I have to BORROW a sphygmomanometer if you can believe that. I haven't owned one since I did hospice nursing a hundred years ago.
Wishing all my readers (both of you!) a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy2008.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Oh 2 B a kid again!

My 3 CALIF grandkids dressed up for Halloween; 2 probably against their will (cause they're babies), and the older one having a lot of fun with her friends. I had to work Halloween day; I dressed up as an old crippled lady with 6 grandkids...

it was my usual clothes. haha. Didn't win any costume prize for that tho.
My ID grankids had some cute costumes too; we love it when their mom sends pictures and posts them for us to see. I'd post them here too but can't figure out yet how to do that.

Had a lot of fun at work this past week. I was out for 6 months after hip surgery; the supervisor who was supposed to do my work was overloaded and stopped doing my paperwork in mid-August. Usually summer time enrollment in Kaiser slows way down, but this summer we have a campaign going to attract new members, and it is working! 700 - 900 new members per month, and usually 300 - 400 new members per month is usual for summer months. I review all the new member intake forms and keep stats on how many special needs populations we get enrolled: diabetic, HTN, pregnant, smokers, possible need for mammogram etc. So... I will have a lot of work to catch up on but that is ok. I will plod thru it.
Can't say it was easy getting back to work, but it is a blessing... got a raise Oct 1st, have a desk job, get my "union" breaks... can't complain! Just need my back to start feeling better and not protest sitting all day and driving for an hour each work day.
As of today I am now married to a 64 year old. How did that skinny tall sailor get to be a senior citizen so quickly?? Happened in the blink of an eye, I tell ya. The blink of an eye!! So how fast is YOUR life going by?

Friday, October 26, 2007


TWO special people to remember today: Kris my couch baby is 35 and Autumn Rose my granddaughter is 10. Happy Birthday, Ladies! They both have special plans for their birthday nights, and I hope they have lots of fun. We get to sit for #1 Jarvi son while Kris goes to dinner.

I drove to Kaiser Hospital today to get my RTW (Return To Work) paper from the hip surgeon. The skies are so smoky/foggy and yucky-brown in the Valley. Not much better here in Simi, but at least we don't have ashes dropping all over everything, and we have been spared fires for now in our community. Thank God for that blessing. After all the fires we've been through here, I am thankful at this time we have little cleanup, and everything is intact.
Monday I will return to work; almost 6 months off to recuperate. I am doing so much better than 2 months ago as far as residual hip pains and back pain goes. I needed the extra time to let the symptoms lessen. It will still be a challenge to go to work and complete the day, but I am up for it and ready to go. If I had to do the surgery again, I would do it because the right leg was so bad off and I had so much pain every day. It's nice to get relief! I have lost 8 lbs and hope to never find it again. I will try to continue to lose at a slow pace, changing eating habits of long standing, and hopefully get down to a more sensible level of weight for these old bones to bear.
The old movie "Cat Ballou" with Lee Marvin and Jane Fonda has a scene in it of Lee Marvin as an old alcoholic gunslinger who gets himself ready for a gunfight one hungover day. He takes a long time to get dressed, piece of clothing by piece of clothing, and finally he get his ass out the door, ready, and willing to go to into battle. I'll think of that scene as I dress for work: over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder; long sleeveless T shirt; back brace over T-shirt, a blouse over all that; compression socks, short leg brace in left orthopedic shoe; make sure right shoe matches left shoe; loose pantalones that don't cut off venous circulation. Oh my!
It's a workout just to get ready; who needs an exercise plan? THAT'S my workout.
I look forward to it; and I will like getting the paycheck again. I know "they" will throw me a welcome back party: it will be 6 months of backed-up new-member paperwork "thrown" at me to sort through and log. But I can do it! I am UNION tough now! I know when to demand my breaks!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Kiss the joys

A line from a poem by William Blake:
"He who binds himself to a joy,
does the winged life destroy;
but he who kisses the joy as it flies,
lives in eternity's sunrise."

This quote is in a daily devotional I read today. The writer who referred to it was blinded as a child but due to advance surgery regained some sight only to mostly lose it again in later years.

He wrote: "I have had to learn not to bind myself the joy of sight but to kiss this winged blessing as it flies through my life. At time, the urge to grab and hold onto it is overwhelming, but in my heart of hearts, I realize one has to develop a certain attachment to joys of all kinds in order to escape the insidious poisons of bitterness and despair."

Tis the same principle that should be applied to our abilities (physical and mental) as they wax and wane or be wiped out suddenly in some accident or illness. And the people and things that come and go from our lives also seemed just loaned to us for a season.
If it is all God's, then I can accept more readily and let go more easily. Everything in it's own season.

(NOT having a bad day, just reflective as visions of destruction hog the news.)

Great Giver of all gifts, thank You for the blessings of this life. Help me to hold loosely, very lightly the gifts that You bestow. Help me to hold fast to You.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

It's Hell Season

As much as I like living where we do, I dread fire season. Every October the Santa Ana winds blow hard, and if we haven't had rain, we get fires. SoCal is in the season of some of the worst fires ever. We have been spared for now in our community; we do not have fires burning around the rim of Simi, but we have the smokey air that makes the sun go red and almost obliterates it. We do not have a lot of ash falling here like we get some years, but we have the smokey smell. When the wind blows so hard we need to keep our windows and doors closed up tight. Before we got A/C those times would be uncomfortable. But as long as we have electricity, we are fine. Yesterday we lost electricity for awhile. I was caught (for the 3rd time in a year) in my electric reclining easy chair, reclined back, comfortable and cozy. Then I had to climb out to try to get to the ringing phone before the caller hung up because the cordless at my side would not work of course. I missed the caller but did get out of the chair ok.
We are heartsick watching the news of all the homes burned to the ground in CA in the last 3 days. Please pray for the safety of the firefighters, especially Marshall and John of our family. Thank God for the firefighters.
For now, we thank God for our safety and pray the fires stay away from our community this year.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Big Bro Braden

Here is a picture of Hudson's big brother Braden. This photo was taken a few days before Hudson invaded Braden's home territory. I hear there have been some funny moments while Braden adjusts to having a sibling around all the time. But so far, so good.
We shuffled a few things around our home over the weekend to give Kim and Jordan each their own bedrooms. A bunch of old stuff went to the Salvation Army second-hand store. There is more cleaning and sorting and throwing out to do (for me to do) or else when I take off to Glory my family will need to throw out lots of old crap. Worthless crap! It is amazing how much stuff one can accumulate and seldom use over 38 years in the same home. (I will have it all boxed up and mailed to KY or ID... maybe. :))

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Hudson on day 4

Hudson is doing very well, and so is Mama Kristy (as well as can be expected after a c-section that is). Monday Hudson woke up more for us and showed off his open eyes. Kris and Hudson will be coming home today; Braden is in for a huge surprise when there is another son to share the spotlight with him. But he will get used to his brother and all will settle in soon, as most families do. We are just so grateful that everyone is healthy and doing well. The biggest concern is "will Braden throw a jealous fit when 'Papa' (Mike) holds Hudson and doesn't play as usual with Braden?" The suspense grows! I will keep you posted.
Aunt Joan called yesterday from KY. She and Steve will leave KY today to take a sight seeing drive home to Simi. No houses met their expectations in KY, so they will not be moving at this time, but stay tuned!
Look for the next installment of THE KRAZY KELLY EXTENDED KLAN KEEPS ON KEEPIN ON.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Hudson is doing much better

Hudson came out of neonatal ICU yesterday before noon. He had a lung problem seen on chest xray that looked like a small part of one lung lobe that was not inflated well. Kris was told at different times that he probably had a "collapsed lung, or a small tear, or fluid in a lung" although he never showed any symptoms like difficulty breathing or poor O2 saturation. At any rate, he didn't need any intense intervention, just watching more closely in NICU for Friday night. Kris scrubbed up in the middle of the night to go into the NICU to hold him and see that he was doing well. So... good outcome to a scary situation. We got to hold him for a few hours yesterday in Kris room. She said she will concentrate on getting him to feed from her today so we probably will not visit, but we may watch Braden when Christian goes to the hospital later.
OH BTW, does anyone need a newborn size pink onesie that says "does my butt look big in this?" that I got for Kris' baby before I knew she was a boy?? haha. Kris maintained all along it was a boy, but Kim and I were ready to buy all pink stuff!
It was a nice surprise and we are all glad Hudson is here and healthy!

Friday, October 05, 2007


Kristy had her baby boy this morning about 7:47 AM; she and Christian named him Hudson Michael; he is 8 lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long. Mama and baby are ok but Hudson has some fluid in lungs so he is in observation nursery now to be watched more carefully. His blood oxygen is good so far, so hopefully it is nothing serious. more later.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Please vote here

Hey all, my grand daughter, who knows so much, showed me how to post a poll. So vote on my blog for the big Kelly question... "Will Joan and Steve move to Kentucky??". You have 2 weeks to vote because it will take at least that long, I think, for them to decide. They are in KY now and should be out looking at housing in the next couple of weeks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TYLER TODAY!! His party is later in the week.
Yesterday we saw the Physical Medicine Dr. He said my back rib crays show no fracture, but there are arthritic places and osteoporosis. He ordered a bone scan to further check for bone damage or break. Also gave me a new type of back support to wear to hopefully decrease the back pain. When the office nurse put it on me HE said, "Now, when you lose weight..." gently reminding me I HAVE TO lose wt... (I hadn't mentioned yet trying to lose!) he said brace would fit better. a good motivation to lose, eh?
Here... wear this every day... but it won't feel good or be comfortable til you're not so fat!.... Bye-Bye!!
Dr asked about my walking, I had to be honest that walking makes back worse, and if back is helped, I would walk more; got a new hip so why not? I still use the walker in the house much of time, especially first thing in morning and later in day when I feel exhausted.
We see surgeon tomorrow and will get his input as well. Dr yesterday didn't think I need a shoe lift on left leg, will ask surgeon his opinion too. Drs still use those little boards... 1/4, 3/8 inch etc ... for me to stand on to see how spine straightens out and if hip bones level out with a lift under shoe ... just like when I was a kid in polio Dr's office. Some things just cannot be improved on. You might think in this day and age, a DR could just take a computer scanner wand, scan your ass and look at the computer screen and say "Yep, you need a shoe lift!" or "Nope, no need." So... I keep on getting flashbacks of all the Dr visits when I was a kid; some good, some crappy, some just neutral. I do like it when Mike goes to Dr with me tho; reminds me of when Mom used to do all the talking and I just co-operated with the exam saying yes or no to simple questions directed at me. Most questions were directed at her tho, and my only job was to co-operate and not cry. Mike has been so helpful... but I still want to cry! There still must be remnant of that 9 year old kid thinking "I've had enough already! Leave me the hell alone!".

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The latest scoop

We sure love reading our out-of-state kids' updates, so we should post our updates too, eh? That would be better than a litany of aches and pains, which are only a small part of life anyway, so why not?
The girls are out and about today, Mike is working on his to-do list which is always a mile long, so he is in the outdoor-garage area much of day. I cleaned out my closet a bit today to dump some old fat clothes and junk. WW ways are working a bit to let my clothes hang more loosly altho the scale isn't showing much loss. But I can tell things are changing. Toughest part is going to bed early to get farthest away from kitchen at night so I stop feeding face. Have to re-think those after dinner snacks and not continue eating til I fall asleep. Changes are slow; the program seems too hard for me, so will change some things one day at a time and hopefully get some long-term results.
Joan and Steve are on way to KY, driving to BillnJen's. They left a week ago; they took a train excursion to Grand Canyon from Williams, AZ, they golfed in Williams, over-nighted in Alburquerque; made it to Arkansas and planned to see Clinton Library before heading to Memphis to find Elvis. Then they will do a few nights in Nashville, then go on to Lexington; Tyler's birthday party is next Sat. When Joan called from hotel outside Little Rock, ARK, a few days ago, Unka Stevie was out looking for beer because the town they were in was in a dry county; I wonder ifn he made it back yet??? ;))
Got a voice mail from Tracy; she got to go to Wash DC last week for 2 nights taking a dog to a party, and she got to see a lot of monuments and tour the White House.
Kris is hanging in there awaiting Oct 5th C-section; baby is kick boxing in utero and driving Mama nuts I hear. Pray for Kris; only 2 more weeks.
We had a lovely thunder and lightening rain shower a few nights ago; we are in a drought, so rain was welcome.
What else do you want to know??

Thanks to Jorge

Thanks to Jorge today my blog site looks different. She now has a blog of her own and you can get to it in my links. Of course, she is much smarter than I because she is young, with a techo-brain, and I am old with a you-mean-we-have-indoor-plumbing?? brain! Man! The things this new world has that we must learn to operate or be left behind is mind boggling.
I've been directed to use my blog as a family update from now on, so I have to go do a little snooping to find out what to write about everybody... so I shall return later.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mike's aboard

Hey, all, Mr K (Mike, Dad, Granpa, Papa) (sometimes known as "Hey You" or "BMFSV") has set up his own blog, and requests feedback as to what you want to hear about him. So click on the link to Granpa Mike's blog from this blog, and you will find him. Bookmark it and post comments or he won't write anything. He is more impatient than me. When he emails, he checks back every 3 minutes to see if the recipient answered back already... ok, not really... but you know we live in an instant world now, and WE EXPECT FAST RESULTS!
Yesterday Mike had guys from ATnT come out and disconnect our DirecTV satellite, and connect us to bundled Internet and TV cable with ATnT. Now I have a new remote to learn how to use, in addition to learning how to program in shows to TiVo, in addition to a new channel lineup... OMG! I am exhausted! I need a bakers dozen Dunkin' Donuts so I can go into a sugar coma and when I awake, maybe this nightmare will be over. Anyone want to join me???

Sunday, September 16, 2007

God, teach me something new!

This morning I went with Mike and our friend Joe to the church they have been attending for a few months. They really like it because the teaching is truly biblical and they enjoy the worship music. On the way to church I prayed to God to teach me something brand new so I can better live, as He wants me to live. The roof didn't fall in as I wheeled into the church; no lightening struck; the earth didn't shake and swallow me up, so I felt welcome after not going to church for so long. That was a good sign! So, after a few worship songs, it was time to turn and greet the people sitting around us. I didn't recognize anyone, but suddenly a lady comes up behind me and says, "I saw you when I walked in!" and says to Mike, "I've seen you here before but I didn't realize who you were!" It was a gal I learned to avoid at a church we attended 20 years ago!! And I still try to avoid her when I see her anywhere around town! Sooo.... what I learned today is that, by the grace and help of God, I really CAN hold my tongue when I want to scream " AW, CRAP! 'TIS YOU, OH NO!". I just said, "Hi, (Mz X)!" and then shut my big mouth again. That was my first lesson today... KEEP YER BIG MOUTH SHUT! Gee, my dad used to tell me that years ago; guess I didn't learn it then, so I can learn now. Can't WAIT to see what is the 2nd lesson I really need! But it too will probably be something I should've learned a long time ago!!! God really does have a sense of humor!
As to the healing matters, I had a PT treatment of Ultrasound/electrical stim to back muscles last week; there is a very hot spot that sends me through the roof with pain when it is pressed on. So we are still pursuing that for diagnosis and treatment. The last DR visit, I was denied an xray, so I messaged MD to ask for Xray last week after PT visit, but had no response yet. Kaiser demands patience, patience, and more patience from their patients. It's a ploy to put off health care to you whilst you slide to your demise, then they are off the hook, and you get to pay for your own funeral, but no refunds from Kaiser for burial. (just venting here, joking, you know me) No Kaiser employees should be reading this anyways!!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

A New Plan

At the primary care doctor appt this week I got a new Rx for baclofen, an anti-spaz medicine that should help my back spasms go away. And a referral to P.T again for therapy to lessen chance of sciatic pain attacks. A new plan is better than just trying to cover up pain with pain pills at night while trying to get thru day without any Rx. So, we will hope for the best outcome now. I am still off work, and hope to get another month of disability to fix current problems. I await word from surgeon on that issue. To return to work in pain again would make me want to shoot meself.
It is blistering hot here this week; it was 108 degrees on our patio... in the shade... at 2 PM. The night didn't cool off too well like California nights usually do here. Seems we get 2 weeks of extreme heat every summer like this. I hope it doesn't last longer. So far, we have kept electricity flowing to run AC. Last summer we had 2 days without it and the night was terribly hot. We are so thankful for our comfortable life here; we're spoiled for sure when one hot night brings such miserable memories.
Mom-in-law was diagnosed with walking pneumonia last night when she went to urgent care for a swallowing problem; a hiatial hernia was found today in baruim swallow study and xrays. So she will discuss her options with her dr tomorrow but she's already refused surgery as an option! We'll see. A great fear of many people about going to the doctor are these "incidental" finds... many ailments are found during exams for non-related problems. Thankfully her incidental find is curable. Funny how we will put up with very annoying symptoms because we don't want to hear bad news. Of course, to me, BAD news is "you have to live with this symptom and do the best you can" while GOOD news would be "This is gonna kill ya". Heaven here I come!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Slow healing

It sure seems to me that I should be A-OK by now but that is not yet the case. Several times I have found myself in situations where my weak left leg just won't effectively help me to step up, or rise up from a chair, and I have to use the operated-on right leg to step up or lift up... and then I seem to tax it too much and get a strain that hurts for a few days, or else the prosthesis (which takes 6 months to grow bone around it) slightly moves and causes burning pain for a few days. That's how I imagine it anyway. Then I have a few days setback while the "new" pain gets under control. My back is spasming more, driving or walking unaided bring the back spasms on. Man, are they painful at times. So, I am using the walker more in the house, and trying to not walk much unaided because it is so much of an effort. I started Weight Watchers a month ago, hopefully by this time next year I will not be lugging so much blubber around. That might help a bit, but the weak muscles affected by old polio nerves can't be helped much. Maybe I need to accept that my walking days are history without help of a walker or canes. Time will tell. I see my primary care Dr tomorrow about the back pain. No feedback on the "gait evaluation" in P.T. yet. I suspect the report simply states: "She walks crooked. Needs help".
I've been enjoying a book about President Bush the 41st written by his daughter Doro. Very entertaining. I like the guy a lot. And his son too. If you don't... well, just shut up! this is MY blog!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Catch a falling star...

The news has been encouraging us to view the meteor shower with best viewing time Monday before dawn. But who wants to get up by dawn if you do not HAVE to get up? As it was, I had a night where sleep didn't come easy, so at 5 am I was outside in the front yard with a cup of coffee to try to see shooting stars. And of course, singing to meself the old Perry Como tune "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away... for when your troubles start in multiplying, and they just might, it's easy to forget them without trying, with just a pocket full of starlight...". All you under 60 won't remember that song probably, but that's ok. You're too young to know anything yet.
Anyways, daughter Kim was awake as well to get ready for work. When I told her I was going outside to see the falling stars, I told her not to tell anyone because I don't want anyone to know I am nuts. She said, "IT'S TOO LATE, MOM. EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS YOU ARE NUTS." So, there ya go. I knew you knew, I just haven't wanted to acknowledge it. I saw 3 shooting stars from the front yard, then when the back yard sprinklers went off, I sat in the back yard and saw 2 more. Then I decided that was enough thrill for me, so I went back to bed. And how many did YOU see????

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Attitude is everything

This was forwarded to me by friend Syl; I just had to post it here; If The Lord can help me to change one thing... it is my attitude in the midst of trials: to still have joy about life instead of bitching about it. We should all remember this one:

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her
Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."
So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
"H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle
today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there
wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed,
"I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,

Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly.......

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Little crazy birds

I have always liked seeing hummingbirds around a yard. They are so small and fast and entertaining to watch. For several years I have had a hummingbird feeder hanging from the patio cover so I can watch the birds from the kitchen. This year I put another feeder on the north side of the cover. It is interesting to see how the birds react and feed. There is usually a bird guarding the south feeder; he scares away other hummers who try to feed at HIS feeder. He will sit on the wire of the string of lights near his feeder then dive bomb other hummers who approach his feeder. The north feeder gets hummers who seem to get along most of the time and will feed 2 to 4 at a time. Each feeder has room for 4 hummers to feed at a time. I had seen 3 at a time before but this week I FINALLY saw 4 feeding at the same time. (Little things in life bring such joy, don't they?) A few evenings ago I was sitting still out on the patio watching the hummers; there were at least 8 of them in the air around the north feeder. I think the babies must be loose now to feed on their own. Or else the word has gotten out to the hummer community about the abundance of food at Gramma Jayne's patio. I refill the north feeder every 2 or 3 days now with 16 oz of sugar water! They are hungry little buggers. The south feeder that is guarded by "Goliath" as I call him, gets refilled less often because Goliath won't share! When family or friends come over and are on the patio, some of them get scared when the hummers dive-bomb each other. The noise they make is so loud! The hummers will get near us and dive over our heads or around us, but they never touch us .... yet. Maybe one day one of us will end up in ER with puncture wounds from a pissed off hummingbird attack. I just hope they don't hit me in the right hip area. That'd hurt, and then the Kelly hummingbird dining room would slam shut forever!

Friday, July 27, 2007

another month off

Mike took me to see the ortho surgeon today; xrays were taken and the hip is in place and looks good on xray. It's made of titanium and the ball is cobalt chrome or chrome cobalt... (whatz the difference?) 2 large screws hold the cup in place and can be seen protruding from the socket area. very strange to see it on the xray light. Dr gave me another month off til Sept first. He said a lot of the pain I still feel will go away after awhile. He is sending me to Phys therapy for a few how-to-do-it-right lessons because when I demonstrated to him how I need to try to bend down to put my compression socks on, he said "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" I told him I need to wear the socks to work or else my left leg will swell up (due to post-clot venous insufficiency) , and he asked who said so, and I told him all my primary care drs since 1999 ... thus the PT referral. Maybe I should try for permanent social security disability again... reason: "she can't put her socks on anymore." hahaha. That's a good one. I'm sure there have been sillier reasons given.
Anyway, another month to recover and hopefully heal up the residual areas in the hip. Dr said he just replaced hip of another polio patient. Makes me wonder why the Polio Clinic at Rancho Los Amigos rehab hospital tells us old polios to not have replacement surgery. It's not like we expect to sell our wheelchairs on Ebay and run marathons after surgery. But a better quality of life with less pain scooting around in Lucy will suit me just fine.
That's the update for now. See ya!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

What fun!

Our nephew and niece and their 2 boys visited from Nevada yesterday and spent the night with us. They'd been to Legoland and San Diego on vacation. We had a great time talking, remembering events, laughing, and crying together. What a blessing to us to have their family visit us ol' "great" aunt/uncle! Mike's mom got to be here as well to enjoy them. Their older son says he will go to college at the U of Texas and he gives the longhorn sign; he will skip kindergatten and go to first grade next month, so I guess he is well on his way to his goal! Go, Jake!! We are so proud of their family. Our UPS nephew and our 1st grade teacher niece! Both are smart, good-looking and terrific parents to our great-nephews! Thanks for the visit, Jeff and Gina! You are the best ever and we love you!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Nuttin much goin on

Yo! How you doin'? Me too, doin' ok. I think about blogging then remember I never wanted to turn it into a diary; I just wanted to do it for a season to document the progress of hip replacement. So I will stick to that for now. The hip area is less sore each week, so I know progress in being made. But the area is tender if I accidentally bump it against something such as the side of a chair or chair arm; it's tender if the seat belt in the car rests on it or is too tight. I've put a large folded towel in my car so it can go into the bucket seat where I ride or drive from, otherwise the slanted side of the seat hurts the hip area. I still feel like I am sitting on a "knot" in the right butt, and get pangs of burning pain in the right femur/thigh area. Along with lower back pain and another bout with left para spinal muscle spasms, it has been hard to walk some days when all that is acting up. But the real reason for surgery was to relieve the right knee/leg pain and that expectation has been met. So the residuals I am left with were there before surgery, and will be dealt with as usual. No big deal. I ain't throwing away my wheelchair or leg brace unless I get another miracle; the hip surgery has been a miracle in itself I believe. For that I am grateful.
I have begun to read Joel Rosenberg's book about Israel and the Palestinian conflict, and how Russia and Iran are "bonding" (for lack of a better word that isn't so inflammatory). Eschatology and "end times" are interesting subjects!
Read on!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thanks for a season of blessings

Lately I have really been thanking God for a season of blessings and serenity as the post-op healing period continues. Sure there are still aches and pains, recently compounded by intermittent sciatica and sleep disturbances, but overall there are no crises and we have much to be thankful for. I am still off work until July 27 when I see the surgeon again. Joan has taken me to the YMCA warm therapy pool to stretch and "exercise" while she goes into the "big pool" to do water aerobics class. That's soothing to this ol' bod. I've been TIVOing episodes of John Ratzenberger's MADE IN AMERICA series from the Travel Channel, and I enjoy watching him and learning about American factories. John is the guy who played Cliff The Mailman on tv's Cheers, and he is so cool!! He does and says nutty things on his travel series, but he goes interesting places that I'll likely never go to, so I really enjoy the show. Joan gave me an autobiography of Billy Graham several weeks ago, and I loved reading it. Billy Graham is a fascinating man. His wife Ruth died recently, and I was able to watch her funeral on a Christian station. All 5 of her kids spoke and it made me want to read more about their family; so far Joan has found us about 5 more books by Ruth and some of her children, and I have enjoyed them all. I have yet to dig into the book Joan gave me about the Arab-Israeli conflict but that read will be next on my list. Today is a milder weather day for us so I wheeled down to the corner to Vons for some groceries. When it is real hot... 90's... I stay inside most of the day; the heat does me in; so a cooler day is welcome. I remarked to Mike how blessed we are to live where we do; we can walk or roll to a close market and several other stores and food places. He reminded me that God knew our future needs a long time ago and so we have remained in this home for 38 years for just such a time as this... a gramma who can't drive for awhile but can wheel down to the corner in her scooter and shop! Hope YOU are greatly blessed as well. Enjoy!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Drivin Ms Jaynie

This morning I got in my van's drivers' seat (painful) and fastened my seat belt (painful) and drove around the block (painful). The right hip protested because the seat was not comfortable, the belt hit the hip in a painful place, and going over small bumps or dips caused more hip pain. But at least I tried, and now know driving isn't comfortable yet. It's difficult to be a patient patient! I feel like I have always been a PATIENT in one form or another, but having patience is another thing entirely. What's the old prayer: "Lord, grant me patience, and grant it NOW!"
I am waiting for my Idaho grandkids to come over; they return home in 2 days, so today may be the last i see them here for awhile. I just spoke to their dad on the web cam, and their little brother who told me he really misses Autumn and Russell! Pam will be so sad to put them on a plane back home I reckon. But we must be thankful for the times we do have with them. And I am!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Out of the mouth of babes

In trying to post what I'd just written, I found an old "draft" of a post Joan had done in May, so I posted it. It is difficult to find all the ins and outs of a newfandangled thing like blogs. hell I don't even know all the things my old cell phone is capable of yet, and I think I have had it for 2 years!
Autumn visited the other day. She is a real funny kid. She has always had the best one-liners blurt out of her mouth even when she was just beginning to talk. Blunt, honest and observant, she will need to tame herself with tact someday... if she can. That's hard to learn for some of us, mainly me.
Anyway, I was folding my laundry, mainly T-shirts and capris. I held up a pair of capris to shake them out, Autumn took one look at them and said, "WOW! THOSE ARE FAT! WHO WEARS THOSE HUGE PANTS?" I replied, "I do." She said, "Oops, my bad!" I began to laugh my head off, and she did too. Then of course, I had to justify myself telling her I needed to wear very loose pants for now because of my surgery on my hip. That helped me not one bit. She reminded me of last year when we were in Idaho to move her family there. Their dog Casey was greatly overweight, and had a big butt at the time. Casey stretched out one day in the kitchen and put his butt up in the air before lying down. We watched him and laughed at his big butt. After he got settled with his butt facing us, I got up, went over to him, turned my butt to Autumn and asked (stupidly!), "Who has the bigger butt, me or Casey?" I was surely shocked when she answered, "You, Gramma!". There be no guile in Autumn; you have to love that!

I play; I pay!

Did you ever ponder that when something changes, most things still stay the same? It's because where ever you go, you can't get away from yourself. Ponder that.
So, if you don't change yourself, what changes will you ever have? What's my point? How the hell should I know? I'm just thinking in print.
Actually, I do have a point here. Last week Joan took me to the YMCA to go into the therapy pool for a bit of stretching and water exercise. My first time to go post- op. The steps into the pool are short, not steep, and there are good handrails. I got into the pool so well! The post-op hip protocols state to go down steps with the operative leg, and go up steps using the non-operative leg, which in my case is my weak left leg. So when it came time to get out of the pool I did well until the final step. Without water support, I could not get up that last step using my left leg even with Joan's help and use of the handrail. So, I began to laugh! It seemed an opportune time for one of those sisterly giggle fests where we both end up on the floor laughing. Joan was NOT amused! She said, quite sternly, "STOP LAUGHING OR WE WILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE!.
So I quickly slapped meself upside the head and stopped laughing, and told her ok, i would use my right leg to step up. Wrong decision! I did make it out of the pool then, but heard/felt a crunch in the hip. Uh oh! I could still walk on the leg, but must've strained soft tissue around the joint because I then enjoyed more pain for 2 days afterwards.
Over the weekend, we went to Kristy's house to use her pool. I was able to easily jump into the pool, and got out easily at the steep steps with Mike and Kris' help.
But I made the fatal mistake of lying on one of the poolside lounges which are very low to the ground. So when I went to stand up off of it, I strained the hip again with using much effort to lift my big butt upright.
What's the point you might ask? It's clear as mud! I have a new hip, but still have old polio, so unless I quit acting like I've become the Six Million Dollar woman, I will still pay with pain if I do certain movements that these old muscles have to strain to do. Us old farts learn slowly, but we can still learn if we try hard.
So, the discomfort continues, and will go away if I stop bringing it on I trust. I can walk more without the walker now, and have used a cane for a few short trips out and about. Progress is being made. Perseverance! That's the name of this game.

Monday, June 25, 2007

The world is nuts

One of my favorite quotes is "The world is nuts and it can't be helped", by Arlo Guthrie. I saw it on his on his web site a few years back. He's tongue-in-cheek most of the time; doesn't take life too seriously although he's at risk (or might have by now) his famous father's wasting disease. This quote came to mind because I just called the "sick leave integration department" of HR for Kaiser; I have some questions about my sick leave and state disability pay. I got this recorded message:
"We cannot accept your call at this time because we have an emergency situation and have to evacuate the building. Please try again later."
Oh my. What now? a fire? an armed disgruntled employee or spouse or patient? an earthquake? an overflowing toilet after some big dump and housekeeping cannot respond for 2 hours because all the union employees are on break?
The world IS nuts! We could all help it not be nuts, but most of us won't or can't help out. We just let it get nuttier and nuttier. Heaven looks nearer and dearer all the time.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

6 weeks post op

Well, Friday was the 6th week post op day! Sure is nice to be farther along in the recovery, but there is a ways to go before "normal again" can be said. Walking without the walker is not happening much yet because I feel too unsteady and fearful of falling. Plus it is not so painful if I walk with support still. When I walk a few steps without the walker, the right leg is painful somewhere deep inside the thigh, and the surgery area is still painful if I bump it. When I sit, I feel like I am sitting on a small lump on the right side, so I have to shift often but that's ok. It's not too comfortable to ride in a car yet, so I haven't been out and about much yet. I did crave Mexican food last Wednesday so Mike took me to eat at one of our local Mexican places. Man, that greasy cheese enchilada, and the beef taco and those refried beans with melted cheese... Hombre! Muy sabrosa!!
Today we went to Joan and Steve's for a few hours. I hadn't been there in 2 months. Things look brand new when you haven't been around in awhile. Bill and Jen and Tyler have been visiting for a week or so, and have to return to Kentucky tomorrow. Bill hadn't been "home" for 2 1/2 yrs; it was good to see them again! Tyler is growing so big and is a great kid!
Jordan is out of school now so we have more time to play board games. I finally beat her at Clue today! But she beat me at Scrabble this week, and I had to go to the bathroom and cry! How could that happen?? Actually I am so proud of her; she's a smart player.
We got to have Autumn here for a few hours again Friday, so we walked and rolled down to Subway for lunch. It's just 2 blocks away. I should get out more in Lucy and venture around the neighborhood, but it's been hot lately and the sun does me in. Thank God for A/C at home.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Making memories with the grandkids

My dad's mother was my grandmother who gave me the most memories, and all of those memories are sweet and good. We called her "Gram". Gram was born in Louisville, KY, 1896, the first of 4 kids of Swiss-German parents. The family came to Los Angeles when Gram was 3 yrs old. She saw so much change in LA over her 96 years. I once asked her how did she deal with all the change and growth and new-fangled items that continued to impact her life. She replied that she just tried to flow with it since she could not stop it, and to learn all she could about the changes. She had an excitement for life it seemed, and she was always welcoming to us kids, excited to see us, and sad when we had to leave her house. Gram was the BEST ever; there will never be another Gram.
Gram's way of getting upset with us when we acted up around her was to say, "Pretty soon we're going to have a Butt-Kicking Contest, and I'll win, so stop that!". Then we'd all laugh and shape up and go on having fun.
If I could accomplish anything with my grandkids, it would be to have them know for certain that I love them so much, like Gram loved us. Unconditionally, enjoying their company, being proud of them, letting them know if they fail in some way, that it is perfectly fine to start over and do better next time. But I will tell them like I told my kids, if you end up in the Can, slammer, joint, jailcell... don't waste your dime on me (don't call me) to bail you out; just come see me next time you're free and we will begin again.
Russell and Autumn Kelly, 2 of my grandkids from Idaho, are in Simi staying with their other grandparents for a month. The 2 spent the night this week here, so they could go to Jordan's 6th grade promotion ceremony with us yesterday morning. Russell and I played Monopoly and this time I didn't wager a bet about beating him because I suck at Monopoly usually. Especially against him! He is a good player and has developed strategies that usually put him in the winners circle. Hopefully, he will take those strategies to real Life and support himself well. We'd begun the game late, and I finally told him I'd only play to 11 PM because I was wiped out. I thought that'd be soon enough for me to quit without the humiliation of being beat again, but at 10:48 PM, he managed to make me go bankrupt and won. Then he told me of a memory he has of me that he will never forget. We have kitchen chairs on wheels and when the kids were younger, they always played around and scooted the chairs away from the table, back around, twirled and moved back and forth... until I'd yell and tell them to sit still or they would have to sit in a dining room chair without wheels. Russell reminded me of a time I told him, "IF YOU DON'T STOP MOVING THAT CHAIR AROUND, YOU'LL NEVER SET FOOT IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN!!!" I denied ever being that cruel, but he swears it is true, and I have to admit... it sounds just like me!! hahaha. so much for trying to be like Gram and make sweet memories!
Autumn likes to make snowcones with a Pampered Chef snowcone maker we have. It seems like a lot of effort to me to make them..But now she can work the gizmo herself
so she makes the snowcones while I sit on my butt. I bet her $5 I could beat her in a game of Clue, knowing damn well that I suck at Clue as well as Monopoly. But I wanted her to have the money, so we played the game and lo and behold! I made some very LUCKY guesses, without rhyme or reason like I usually do, and she could not show me any cards, so by sheer chance, I won the game!! I almost fell off my chair, and she was so disappointed! Next time we play Clue, I'll bet her 10 bucks, so she can double her winnings to make up for a fluke loss. Autumn did beat me by a few million dollars in 2 games of LIFE though; I didn't bet on those games either because I suck at LIFE too. The only game I really like to play with the kids is Scrabble; they don't stand a snowball's chance in Hell to beat old Gramma Jayne in Scrabble; or do they? We will see!
Grand daughter Jordan (12 next month) who lives with us with her mom Kim, has been told repeatedly by me that I don't allow the B word (B*R*D) to be said in this house because there is NO EXCUSE for boredom EVER, and I am never bored, and believe no one else should ever be bored either. There is just too much to do in life, even if it is just sitting and pondering your umbilicus! But last week, I blew it. It was about noon and I was restless; Jordan was on the computer, Mike was eatin lunch, and I wasn't hungry, didn't want to veg in front of the TV, didn't want to read, wasn't ready for a nap... so I blurted out, "I AM SO BORED!!!". Jordan's jaw dropped, she was speechless, then said, "Gramma, I am going to remember this day FOREVER!!".
Ah, memories! they are being made every minute, eh? Make them good!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Check out a real blogger!

Finally I figured out how to link my daughter-in-law's great blog to this blog. Tara has been blogging for awhile and keeps the family up to date about the activities of the Idaho Kellys. Check out her blog; she has photos too!! Now that's a blog! She set Tim up on his own blog recently, so he will let us in on things from the dad's point of view when he has time. Way to go kids! and thanks! (Check out their blogs by clicking on the link on the right side of this page... this instruction is for the computer neophytes.)

Monday, June 11, 2007

Things continue to go well

I just can't take this blogging thing too serious. It has been a good diversion and therapy tool, but I really intended only to use it as a post-op update for awhile. There is so much I could blog about: my family, my swell kids and wonderful grandkids, Kris's progress in growing our next grandbaby (due October 15)... but to write about all that, I'd be at the keyboard for hours. Suffice it to say for now that the hip healing continues. I still need the walker because to walk unaided seems like too much effort and causes back problems. Sitting too long is uncomfortable because of weight on the healing hip area; frequent shifting is needed, as well as periods of getting horizontal to rest. Mike is so good about preparing meals and doing laundry and dishes... and doing everything! I am left with same ol' chronic pain problems and weaknesses as before surgery, but the horrible right knee pain and spasms are gone, Thank You God. The expectation after recovery is to go back to same life activities with better pain control of chronic problems. So, I will post an update every now and then; for now it is slow but steady healing. I'll take that! Tis good!

Friday, June 08, 2007

I just can't go on!!

I am so sorry!!! I had planned to tell you all about Aunt Joan's fabulous new 8 passenger Honda Odyssey with its leather seats, sun roof, 24 cup holders, 8 CD player, 6 power outlets, 6 air bags, and automatic sliding doors with windows that actually lower down for air, but I am just too upset today for serious blogging. Until I know for sure that Paris Hilton will survive her days in the slammer, I may never be able to participate in life again! She might starve to death, choke on her own snot from all that crying, or hang herself with her bra... it's too much to bear.....
I'll have to get back to you when I can get thru this grief today...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Slowly but shirley

It'll be 4 weeks post op tomorrow, and the healing continues... on an up n down road so to speak, just like I remember from surgeries past. Like I always told my surgery patients, expect up n down days because the body heals in different levels at differing times. One day one part hurts, then it won't hurt, then it will; as soon as one area quiets down and isn't talking to you in tears, its next door neighbor sobs wildly and needs attention for a day or two. Now that my right shoulder and back have not had much pain for a few days, the right hip incision area and deep into the hip joint have moaning and bitching contests. Doing the right leg exercises is a challenge because I have to work so hard due to chronic weaknesses but I do what I can and figure every little bit of movement will help eventually. So, the progress is slow but sure, shirley. (Don't call me Shirley!) $100 to anyone who can tell me what movie made that line famous. ('cept Joan who remembers everything.) Yesterday I walked with the walker to the neighbor's driveway on the south, then sat on the walker seat in our driveway for a few minutes to rest... YES I NEEDED TO REST AFTER THAT 20 FOOT WALK.... then I walked to the neighbor's driveway on the north and back. I didn't need the walk, I just wanted to model my newest pj's for the neighbors who may have been watching. I watched a good netflix movie "Charlotte Gray"; a WWII chick flick, I recommend it to all you netflix chicks.
Yesterday I went to the front door and got the mail all by myself! So there ya have it. I am making progress each day, thank God. Joan got a new car and I hope to go for a ride in it tomorrow; my second outing since surgery! I think she told me it is a Mercedes or a Benz or a caddie or a lac or something with four-on-the-floor, overhead cams, duel exhaust... hell I was on drugs when she called to tell me about it... tomorrow I should know more and can report to y'all 'bout it.
til then, live well and be joyful!

Monday, June 04, 2007

I pray

One of the many reasons I am glad to be a Christian, a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ, (not a perfect follower by any means, but a work in progress) is that deciding to pray can stop self pity so quickly. In times of pain, or fatigue, when I begin to feel like I cannot do one other thing, The Spirit reminds me that there are people who need prayer support and I try my best to lift them up in prayer for whatever needs they have that only God might know about. If I were to list all the folks who've come to mind for prayer in the past 3 weeks, it would even shock me! How can it be? How could all you well-adjusted people need so much prayer? What is wrong with you all?? Why can't you just carry your own burdens and problems and leave me alone?? hahahahaaa. LOL!
How heavy the burdens would be ifn we had to carry them all alone!! When someone prays for another person, the effect is accomplished somewhere in the unseen world, the spiritual realm. We may never get to know how a prayer for someone brought results. Prayers can be answered "yes" "no" "wait" or "maybe" if something specific is sought, but intangible results occur more often I believe. Such as, how do people make it through a tragedy, a death of someone they love, an illness, a time of despair or upheaval, and come out smelling like roses on the other side of the event, going on with their lives in strength and joy? What do you think? I think it has a lot to do with prayer support! So next time the Spirit (whether you believe in Him or not :)) ) brings someone in particular to your mind, pray for them, send up a good thought, or just think "gee, I hope ol' so-n-so is doing well". Tis all prayer, my friend. Tis all prayer.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

setbacks or healing?

I had to get up out of bed at 4 am today due to severe right shoulder pain again. I think I strained the shoulder again yesterday standing up from a chair; my legs didn't raise me up and the weight went to my arms... and bingo... arm strain again. So I iced it and heated it and took pills and used skin rub. Kim got home from school and gave me a message again like she did last week when the shoulder was painful. The pain is much less now and I have to try hard to not strain it again. The worse part of this recovery is being so weak and deconditioned; tis my usual state of being but it's not a good state to be in when a leg is compromised. When the leg is back to it's usual strength, things will be better.
The best part of today is that neighbor Dan is finally sixty too!! Now he can stop bagging on me n Joan about being so much older than he is.
later dudes.

Friday, June 01, 2007

It's June already yet.

Wow. Tis June already. 3 weeks since I was in an ice cold surgery suite getting sliced open, wrenched around, and put back together with new parts. The time has gone by quickly I must say. You may think I don't do much, but my days are full of activity and chores to acomplish. and not enough time to do it all! getting up, having a cup of coffee, leg exercises, sponge bath, changing pj's, reading the paper and doing the daily SuDoKu puzzle; reading the mail, taking vitamins 3 times a day, taking a walk outside (maybe), crocheting, blah blah blah... wow! too much to do. I need a vacation from this recouping routine!
2 days ago we saw the surgeon, who said "Take your time healing; go slow; you'll get there." He changed his tune from the pre-op visit when he told me I'd be driving in 28 days. HA. It is a major event to just get into the passenger car of my van with help! The dr assistant (a gal I used to work with in the call center who now does orthopedic back office work) took out 36 staples from the 8 inch incision... as I hung onto the wall, spoke to her in broken Spanish, gritted my teeth etc, trying to not feel what was going on. She commented that the incision looked exceptionally healthy, no redness, no drainage, no crustiness etc. We told her that when I got home, for 2 weeks I was fed only fruits, vegetables and meats or chicken or fish... no sweets!! In fact, our neighbor had made a plate of brownies and brought it over the day after I got home; Joan walked into the bedroom where I was and showed me them and let me smell them... BUT WOULD NOT GIVE ME EVEN A CRUMB OF THE BROWNIES!!! So the healthy food plan paid off, and helped the healing. The dr wants to see us again in 2 month; he extended my time off to July 5, and said again, take your time, all your muscles are working differently now, you'll feel like yourself in 6 months.
so there ya have it.
The fatigue sets in easily, yesterday I had lab, OT and PT all visit, and was exhausted by late afternoon. didn't get a good nap. napping is essential... so...
good night for now! am going to a sheet show for a spell; I get to shower later today for the first time in 3 weeks... something has been REAKING in here lately... something stinks to high heaven... what the hell... it's me! hahahaaaa.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

What will hurt next?

The hip healing continues well; tomorrow Mike will take me to Kaiser to have the annoying staples yanked out of the incision site... rip and burn; rip and burn... I anticipate that's what the staple removal will feel like. I may have TWO vicodin on board for that adventure! The last 2 days I've only taken one vicodin three times a day; the few days before that, I needed a tab 5-6 times per day, and during the night when I'd get up too. I was having horrible right shoulder pain and left back pain. Friday Kim gave me a scalp massage that was wonderfully relaxing,and she said I smiled the whole time, but when she massaged my shoulder to try to reduce the pain, she told me the brow furrowing was pronounced and didn't unfurrow even when she stopped touching me. She put me on a homeopathic sublingual tab of Arnica every 2 hours; she works with a homeopathic practitioner who told her that arnica is the only substance that won't potentiate coumadin. I was desperate to get rid of the shoulder pain, so I tried the arnica all weekend. Mike and the PT lady also lowered the grip handles on my walker so that when I use the walker more of my weight goes through the arms than right to the shoulders. and it all worked together to reduce the shoulder pain! Thank you, God. I'd gotten up crying in pain a few mornings due to that shoulder pain.
Now, the left back area screams at me intermittently; and the hip incision area sings out at intervals, and the lower back yells, "Hey! remember me??" and the right knee talks back after I do the exercises for the right leg.
For now, I am letting them all bitch all they want, I use heat or cold packs on various spots, and a well-timed vicodin slaps them all upside the head every 4 or 5 hours. All the parts will settle down in their own time.
I can feel my right leg getting stronger each day. I still need to be careful to do "hip precautions" when I move, but standing up is easier, and I think I put less weight on my arms when using the walker, altho I don't dare try to walk without it yet. I did sneak a try yesterday but could hardly move my legs without the arm support, so I will give that up for a few more days.
Yesterday I spilled my coffee and cried, and Mike cleaned it up so nicely without complaining, then an hour later I had a bathroom accident and cried, and Mike cleaned it up so nicely without complaining. Then he put Johnny Cash music on the stereo and went around the house like a Whirling Dervish cleaning everything. Mike is the BEST!!
Time to go rest again. Can only be vertical for a short spell, then all the parts tell me it is time to get horizontal again. so bye for now.

Monday, May 28, 2007


Many milestones reached in the last week. I can now get out of bed by myself, go to the head by myself, and get my own pain pills as needed. Hooray! Hurrah! and OhBoyGoodie! Another biggie is that Joan turned 60 over the weekend.
she is so excited to be 60! She kept saying, "60 is the new 90!", "60 is the new 90!". No one knew what the hell she meant; we are still trying to figure it out; we dasn't dare ask her what she means by that statement though, because we are likely to get a more confusing explanation and then we'd all wonder which ones of us really have senile dementia and which ones carry a full load of marbles still. We are at that "don't ask don't tell" stage where we all suspect each other of being demented, but are afraid to confront others for fear of being exposed ourselves. So we avoid that boondoggle for the time being.
I am going to try to post 2 photos with this entry now. If I screw it up, the entry will seem incomplete, so forgive me, I am on drugs.

Friday, May 25, 2007

This ain't fun, but tis interesting.

Hi all, tis Ol' JRK meself here this morning; finally able to sit at the desktop PC for a short time and connect again. Thanks to all of you who've called, sent cards or flowers, or emails... each one has brightened my days and made me glad to know you took the time to let me know you be thinking of me. I can feel the prayer support so strongly; it would be impossible for me to be this content and calm if it were left up to my own weak soul to sustain me. With the prayer support of family and friends, I know The Lord is with me, The Spirit reminds me of that fact, and the angels are working 24/7 to block the fiery darts of discouragement, self-pity, etc that can sneak into one's soul in such a time as this. Thank YOU, Jesus, for holding me in the palm of your hand!!!
Today I expect the OT, PT and lab people to show up. I am still on blood thinner due to the blood clot in 1999, so the blood level still has to be monitored frequently post op. The OT lady wants to work on "getting stuff out of the fridge" soon. The PT lady wants to me walk to the drive-way today. All huge goals I am sure. I am experiencing severe right shoulder pain at times due to using my arms so much to move around in bed, sit up, stand up, use the walker; and I have a left back pain problem that comes from who-knows-where; it is so severe that just touching it can make me cry. PT says it is a "lat" muscle, and I need to apply ice to shoulder and back frequently. Then there are those "exercises" for right leg to do... some are easy, some are a bitch and hurt the knee. But all in all, the recovery is going along as it should for me I reckon. It ain't fun, but it is interesting!
Just have 2 words for you before I go: PROTECT YOUR HIPS... so you won't need a replacement someday.
Gr Jayne

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Laugh with us, not at us!

Joan here again. O.K., I just HAVE to tell this. Don't tell me that funny things don't happen even when someone is seriously recouperating from a major event. When I got to Jayne's this afternoon, she told me this story and I laughed myassoff and so did she. Mike didn't. Here it is: Recently, Mike has been going to church with longtime family friend Joe. But instead of leaving Jayne to go to church today, Mike told Joe to come over, they'd do a little Bible study and Mike would fix breakfast. However, Jayne got up fairly early and by the time Joe came over, she had to go back to bed. She had her cell phone with her and the plan was she'd call the home phone in the kitchen if she needed anything. Her bedroom door was shut so she could rest peacefully in quiet solitude. After a while, she had to use RR, so she dialed the phone. Mike and Joe were sizzling bacon, talking, and didn't answer it. Jayne leaves this message: "This is the patient in room 101 A, and I need help!" The men hear the muffled message, think it is ME calling from MY house and being funny, so they IGNORE it! Jayne sits up on the side of the bed waiting for Mike to come in and watch her get up so she feels safer, but no one comes in! She wonders, "What-the-hell?" FINALLY, in comes Mike with a plate of food and says cheerfully, "Here's your breakfast!" She asks him, "Didn't you hear my phone call?" and he tells her he thought it was Joan and he could call me later. Now I'm not tellin this story to embarrass anyone, I am tellin it for the laugh factor. Ya'al gotta admit that it is funny as all get out, and no one got hurt! Jayne says the next time they set up the "phone system" and she has to leave a message, well, let's just say it will be a "LOUD unmistakably Jayne message" that Mike will be sure to recognize. ............about Jayne: mornings are hard as she is pretty stiff and in pain after sleeping all night, but it gets a wee bit better in the afternoon after getting up a few times and doing those exercises. She was in good spirits when I saw her this afternoon. I will be there everyday this week, too, unless Mike kicks me out and Jayne gets sick of me! bye for now

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Happy week-end all

Jayne coerced me into blogging again for her. She is on her bed now doing her list of exercises and watching t.v. She gets up to kitchen table 2 or 3 times a day for about 45 minutes. Yesterday she stood at kitchen sink for a shampoo. She is careful with the walker and slow and steady. She gets into and out of bed by herself now. her leg cramps up sometimes, but a few hollars and hoots and it goes away. Neighbor Dan brought over some freshly baked brownies, but Jordan and I ate them and we wouldn't give Jayne any. We did, however, tell her how good they tasted. Maybe next week we will give her the donut she's been craving and let her have a bite of chocolate. but for now it is healthy food that doesn't make her cough or stuff up. it is for her own good, right??? She is listening to music, laughing her arse off at funny movies, and doing everything right to recover. She doesn't think she is doing as well as we tell her she's doing, but that's a nurse for ya! One week since surgery and countin', and things are looking good. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and for being in her corner, pullin' for her recovery. She can't sit at this computer and type yet, but soon, soon, soon,.....Have a great week-end, Joan.

THEY think I'm doing good, but....

Hi everyone. Joan here. Jayne's making me do this blog again. When asked, "What should I write?", Jayne said, "They keep telling me I am doing fine, but these exercises suck, I'm still tired, it really hurts in the morning to get moving...."
Right now, Jayne is reading the card of exercises the PT gal gave her, and she is on her bed doing them. She stood at the kitchen sink for a shampoo yesterday. She is doing everything right toward a speedy recovery. She has mentioned how good a donut and chocolate would taste, but I nixed that! Vitamins and good food are her diet, altho Mike brought us both a Taco Bell surprise for lunch yesterday. Maybe a donut next week IF she behaves. She is watching funny movies and laughin her arse off inbetween naps. Two or three trips to the kitchen table each day and staying for about 45 minutes are the limit so far. Bed is still the most comfortable place to sit/lay, exercise and move the legs, listen to music and watch the telly. She is getting in and out of bed by herself, and that alone is a plus. Oh, and she wants you to know that the neighbor baked some brownies, brought them over, and Jordan and I ate them and wouldn't give Jayne any. (it's not that we are cruel, it's for her own good) So if ya want to send anything, make it a box of Dunkin'Donuts, since they closed all the Krispy Kremes around here. Jayne is feeling your prayers and good thoughts. Thank you for your support and love. maybe I'll write again if Jayne whines and makes me do it. she can't yet sit comfortably at the computer...soon, soon, soon. have a great week-end!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Home Sweet Home

Sing the tune everyone.......
Home, Home, on the Range... where the walker and commode-chair look strange.....
Where seldom is heard, an intellegent nerd (except me),
And the furniture all had to rearrange. o.k., ya got me drift??? I am HOME FREE!
Mike and Joan got me home about half past noon today. Two steps up, and I was in-da-house! Yaaahhhhoooo. NOW I expect I can sleep better and eat what taste good. However, I don't know about the help I have. Today, after I was home and settled in bed for a nap, the door shut, the fan on, I got tangled in the covers so I whistled my ear splitting whistle. Joan, on the phone in the kitchen, couldn't hear it, Mike running in and out of garage and doing laundry, thought it was the washing machine, so he looked inside it each time he heard a whistle, sooo finally I yelled as loud as I could.......and both of them finally heard me! If we didn't laugh our asses off about that! (I cuda died in those covers...just kiddin.) They are taking good care of me, and Joan otta know, cause she's writin this!. Her final entry. She refuses to do more while I lounge around in bed,, so it is her way of getting me to get up and move! So if ya don't see a new blog for a few days,, don't give up, gosh #%@!&*^% darn it...I WILL BE BACK SOON! It's a great life. Thank you Lord for carrying me thus far. I will be sleeping a lot and "working out" (just getting up for meals and potty breaks is a workout) and don't worry if I don't answer the phone because everyone should know that I didn't answer the phone BEFORE surgery. I figure that if the answering machine fairies invented those machines, and we were dumb enough to buy them,,,,, then we should USE the dang tings, right? or else we are just crappin our hard earned money away on useless junk and makin the fairies rich and ourselves poor and people are starving in China so eat your lima beans!
or I'll haveta give ya a crack! nighty nite

Monday, May 14, 2007

72 hours and countin

Another yo-yo day. Practice standing, walking, sit on pot, sit in chair, get headache, puke, back to bed. IV fluids were reconnected to help hydrate me and get yucky meds out of my system. Hospital food still wins the "crap award" of the century. Mike brings me a hot mochacoffee in the morning and was here to see PT and talk to doc. Then he had to go home and run a job. Joan brings my favorite sandwiches: a tuna and a turkey with cranberry. I show her how I can stand up with walker and amble a few feet around the room. and by the way, no, I am not lying here with a laptop on my knees. The ghost-rider in the sky is doing this job, however reluctantly, and identity will never be revealed. But I WILL tell you that ghost rider is the most beautiful, facinating, giving, loving, person in the world, albeit a wee bit of a braggart! anyway, God has His arms around me and time is flying by, even tho it doesn't seem like it, and since God is CRAZY about me, He will keep me on the recovery road. and don't forget: God is CRAZY about you, too!
He loves us all so much, and THAT keeps me going. So God's blessings to all of you and I hope to fire the gohost-rider soon as I get home, because frankly, she ain't no blogger!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

48 hours later.....

A new day dawning......IV came out. PT got me up. Walked 2 steps out of my door with walker, then back in again. Sat in chair for 2 hours. Sat on pot for 2 hours... just kidding, that was only a few mins. Few bites of breakfast and lunch, altho what they try to pass off for food is a big joke.....either that or else I had my taste buds altered during surgery....weeelll, I admit that mashed spuds and gravy were good. I had Mike go down to cafeteria and buy me a tuna sandwich. Will try that soon. Feeling "mucho major hoy". Looking forward to watching Survivor finale tonight to see who wins the million, unless I fall asleep and snore thru it like my old roommate,(o.k. enough about her) Had visitors today and was glad. Joan recognized 2 of my nurses that took care of her when she was in for gall bladder surgery. I like me private room and with door closed, I don't hear the clatter. My "mantra" is, " drink, drink, drink, pee,pee,pee, breathe, breathe, breathe". Mike is coming back tonight. He had to go home and mow the lawn so he can be here early tomorrow and wait for PT and doctor to come in. Maybe I know more of the plan then about how long I might stay here. Happy Mothers' Day to all...have whisky in yer coffee for me and have a great day! and don't forget the whipped cream! (You know it sounds goooooood, admit it!!!!!) I can see you lookin for the bottle now!!! bye

Saturday, May 12, 2007

First 24 hours

It's been a whole 24 hours since I was wheeled out of recovery. Wish I could fastforward time to 24 days. I am in a private room now, not the same room nor phone number on last blog. The roommate had t.v. blaring all night even when she was SNORING. Now if those tings keep me awake, it will be me making the racket. Hoping to sleep for real from now on. Had hot turkey for lunch and it was good, but roast for dinner was yuck. oh, guess what? if I try to move.......it hurts! oh yeah, I think I remember that that was likely to happen. Pain meds are helping. I received a pint of my own blood back today. platelettes had a welcome-back party and all were doin a jig. Mike showed up again at 3 this afternoon. I had him tell family to not come to see me today. maybe tomorrow be better. I got all cleaned up and took all pills doc ordered. and Mike stayed til about 7 P.M. Thank God for Mike, doctors, pills, nurses male and female, advances in medical procedures, pills, electric beds, pills, family, friends and did I mention pills? Long may they do their jobs!!!! and God's blessings to you all. Thank you for the prayers and thoughts and encouragements. Now I tink I'll go see the insides of my eyelids and see what my brain is dreaming about tonight. Nite ya'all.

O What a Night

Thanks to my lovely roommate, just call me "Sleepless in Woodland Hills". Good news is: she's being discharged today, ssoooo maybe I will get some rest. Last night, Mike said he'd be back around noon, but he had a premonition and showed up at 8 A.M. to find me in pain and wanting my own room. After turning on my side, breakfast, and pain med, it was better. Then the PT peeps arrived to get me up. Mike was able to observe the detailed process I have to go thru to sit up. Only about 72 movements involved. Can I remember them in all, in order, every time??? Right hand on walker, left hand on bed, or is it the other way around? I sat. I stood. I turned pale. I puked. I lay down again. PT will be back tomorrow. I will be ready. I can do this. Your prayers will lift me up on angel's wings. Mike will be back later this afternoon. Meanwhile, I will sleep, pray, and dream of walking Dublin someday, after I use my cane to prod the roommate's arse out the door.

Friday, May 11, 2007


I made it! Oh Happy Day!! 10 A.M.: Mike drove me to Kaiser. 10:30 to 1:30 I was in pre-op room thinkin "Let's git this show on the road". (longest three hours ever!) The nurse finally kicked Mike out, and gave me that sleep-potion thru the IV. Next thing I know, I am waking up in recovery and it is about 5 P.M. The doctor told Mike (and Joan, Kim, Jordan and Lorraine) that surgery was three hours and all went well. He took a little extra time to make sure the new leg would not be lengthened (a new hip can slightly lengthen a leg), but mine was already 1/2 inch longer than the polio leg and didn't need to be any longer!!!!! Doc was pleased with his work, as Mike said he smiled so big that they almost needed sunglasses to look at him. Mike asked him, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad was the hip?" He said, "8". At 6 P.M. I was in Room 4115 B, with visitors, (see above listed happy-supporters-who-helped-me-get-thru-this). Nurses will get me up tomorrow, but now I am all hooked up with vital signs doing well, and a pee-bag! I had a few ice chips, but am looking forward to breakfast tomorrow. I wanted to see the bandage, so Kim helped me look under covers while Joan and Jordan covered their eyes and said "eewwwwww".
The phone number to my bed is (818) 719-3659. If I don't answer, I am in the hall dancing with the janitors, or maybe in the crapper, or pushing the button that says T.V., radio, bed-up, bed-down, call-nurse on the phone/remote control thingy that does everything all on one handset. Hopefully I'll figure that thing out by Saturday morning. Thanks for your prayers and keep 'em comin till I'm chasin ya with my shillelagh!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Good Bye Old Hipster!

Tomorrow I check into Kaiser Hospital at 11 am. Cannot have anything to eat or drink after midnight tonight. I plan on watching The Office, (I hope it isn't another episode about wangers) and then replays of it on TiVo whilst stuffing my face and drinking meself silly until exactly midnight!! Where ever you are, join me in a Last Supper tonight, and give thanks that the old gal will be finally in surgery and away from this blog stuff!
What does blog mean anyways? it means web-log, but in reality it can stand for, as in my case, "Bitchy Ladies Old n Gray", or "By Lazy Old Geezers" , or .... make something else up if you dare.
It's been fun for me to blog, I have not really cared a rat's ass what the snide thoughts might have been by readers as they endured bathroom humor; I really have enjoyed the nice comments from those who've dared to respond; To the Bloggers I know and love... KEEP IT UP PLEASE! I just might return as well to continue blogging if I have to stay awhile longer in this world. Ghost writer, start your engine and sign in!!!
love you all, keep the prayers going in Thanksgiving to Our loving Lord, see you on the flip side!
Nurse Jayne

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The Hip Talks!!

The last few days I've noted increasing right hip pain, not the usual right knee pain, but actual "in the HIP" pain. I believe it is telling me it agrees to be cut open, cleaned out, and repaired!! The last 2 years have been mostly the pain in the right knee driving me nuts, and the ortho dr telling me if he fixes the hip, the knee pain takes a powder. So, we'll see! Mobility impairment I will have til I dance in Heaven, but whatever days I have left here on this side of the Eternal Curtain, I'd be so thankful to spend them in less pain. (And my life is soooo easy!! I wonder what the poor people with REAL problems ask for??)
The new hip will need a name. My scooter is "Lucy", but what to call the new hip? "Ball-in-Socket"? "Baldie-in-a-cup"? "The Joint"? "New Hep Hip?" "Metal Ball"?
Any suggestions will be appreciated. It helps me if I name things I need as assistive devices. My old Kenny Stick crutches are "Righty and Lefty"; my shoe brace AFO is "Damn Plastic Thing", and my compression stockings (needed to lessen venous insufficiency since the blood clot in leg in 1999) are... well I just call them "You shittin' Things" because they are difficult to put on and at times painful to wear all day even tho they help a lot. In summer, the sox get another name because they are so hot to wear, but I shant tell that name because it really ain't nice.
Something really nice happened last week when I was at Kaiser doing pre-op stuff. I checked in at the anesthesia desk, and the clerk there looked familiar to me. We talked a bit and she remembered me from when we attended the Covenant Church. She told me she recalled when I gave a testimony/talk during a service once that she has thought about often. and told me what I'd said had helped her a lot each time she thought of it. I recall it was at Thanksgiving time, and I talked about Paul's admonition from Philippians to be anxious for nothing and in EVERY situation, to rejoice and give thanks always. That talk was about 20 years ago!!! Imagine that! It just reminded me that God's purposes for our lives can be far reaching and long lasting even tho we may never know it!! So keep on doing good, with joy and thanksgiving, whatever your situation in this life.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Happy Nurses Week to all!!

This is Nurses Week, and I want to say Thanks to ALL the nurses out there who've ever nursed someone back to health, or sat beside someone as they were dealing with illness, or spent months, days or hours next to a loved one while they were dying, or who ever took care of their own sorry self when they were ill! SO..... that includes ALL OF US!! A nurse can be defined as "someone who nurtures or fosters". The dictionary doesn't say you have to have a "licence" or a "degree" to do this. So to ANYONE reading this, I say, "Thanks for being a nurse!!". My primary nurse now is Mike. And he is the BEST ever! He thinks of things I need when I cannot think at all. It will be to Mike's credit and God's grace and mercy that I will recover well from surgery. Mike has made it easy for me to go to Kaiser to work 3 times a week for the past few years in spite of the leg problems; that's been my only job... Mike does everything else!! So, where would all we physically hapless people be without our nurses??? I thank God for you all! HAPPY NURSES WEEK!!! (This included you Joan, Kim and Jordan, even tho you want to puke at the thought of being a "nurse")

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Thank You God for this life we enjoy!

Yesterday I went with Joan, Wendy and Cierra to The Groves and Farmers Market in LA. It looks so different now, but in the older sections of the Farmers Market, I could just picture my Dad and my Gram sitting at a table, enjoying the different foods and people watching. We went there so often with them when we were growing up! It was a treat to see it again and see the new part called The Groves. I spotted Officer Rapatti in her wheel chair so I went to thank her for sharing her story and being an example of courage to many people! She was so gracious and thanked me too! She is an LAPD officer who was shot while on duty by some punk; she ended up paraplegic. Extreme Home Makeover TV show redid her home for her and her little girl and husband; they set her up with a complete wheelchair accessible home! It was amazing. She is a beautiful lady and I hope God blesses her with much happiness in spite of her abrupt change in life and how she planned to live it. Any of us can have the course of our lives changed in the blink of an eye... by the weather, job loss,injury, illness, death. etc. I pity the people who cannot look to God in belief that He will be there in ALL situations, and that we are just here because of HIM. I am happiest when I can look up and say with absolute assurance, "Yes, this is a bitch, Lord, but show me how to get through this thing, and with your help, I will ultimately be content again".
So, it was so cool to see Officer Rapatti out and about. Later, we ate at a Deli in Hollywood... and what a lucky day! We saw Jon Lovitz (you know, the ol' SNL guy and actor who is a comedian and shouts and gestures wildy trying to be funny). He was sitting in a front booth when walked in the Deli, and he was sitting across from a blonde gal, and he was shouting at her and gesturing wildly, but looked serious. I was so hoping to see Tom Selleck or Mark Harmon, or Wilford Brimley or Steve Carrell, but , alas, they were not there. and I did look!! Beleive me. Anything to get the vision of Jon Lovitz off the brain.
A week ago Saturday, Joan went with me to a Bill Gaither and Friends concert at the Anaheim Ducks arena. Gaither has had much success showcasing the old Southern Gospel singers and Quartets, and I thank our friends Mikey and Colleen for introducing us to "Gaither " music a few years ago. The Gaither Vocal Band is great! So many of the old Gospel singers have gone Home to Heaven: The Goodmans, Jake Hess, Hovie Lister, Blackwood Borthers, and J.D. Sumner who sang with Elvis. Gaither sponsors new young groups and the best is Ernie Haas' Signature Sound! I love the Isaacs as well, and other solo singers Gaither sponsors. It was a great 4 hr concert, and the CDs and DVDs I have of that kind of music help me reduce pain and heal in many ways! That was a treat to see some of them in person last week.
Life is good during this season!

Saturday, May 05, 2007


Here are my volunteers, standing at the ready for my homecoming post op! Thanks, Ladies!!
They don't come cheap tho'; they're union workers!

A great wipe solution!!

Thank you all for your supportive emails and good wishes! I just have to share this brilliant solution suggestion to one of my main concerns; it is from a professional health care/public servant we all know and love:

It took me just a second to figure out the wipeage delimea, but a couple of minutes passed before I decided to share to solutions!

Don't lean forward pass the 90 deg. point of no return alternate methods.

Option 1 - THIS METHOD IS KNOW AS THE TANKAGE METHOD = Move forward on the leading edge of the pot, do not move to far forward else you may slide off and leave a big brown stain on the floor. Then reach (a 20 deg. bend backwards) back and wipe towards the water tank, the Tankage method!

Option 2 - THIS METHOD IS KNOW AS THE TEN-HUT METHOD = Very quickly, as best you can with just having had hip replacement surgery, snap to your feet and stand tall while at the moment of reaching a full ten-hut posture reach back quickly and wipe. This again will require a 20 deg. backward motion, do not get excited and bend forward, this would totally defeat the Ten-Hut method. Draw back to this method, compression of the buttocks may make require the use of the best toilet paper known to mankind. Depending on what was ingested the day before it could be a war zone back there, as a result of the war zone possibility the method name was born, Ten-Hut!

Option 3 - THIS METHOD IS KNOW AS THE TEAM WIPE = You use the same method as option 1 with an exception, instead of you wiping your own self, you get someone to reach back there and wipe for you. The draw back to this method, is two fold. One, at this point it is nearly impossible to find a team player, seems everyone you ask will be into solitaire. Two, if you do find someone to help you wipe, the mission may have been accomplished and your bottom is clean, but now you fell like a big horses ass!

Good Luck Jaynee, will be praying for you and I know the procedure is going to be great in the END.

(I am so loved!!! Thank you! But at this time I will not reveal the helpful person who sent me these suggestions. Not until he/she promises to not beat the crap out of me. jrk)

Friday, May 04, 2007

The scalpel cometh May 11 to worketh magic

Yesterday I spent 4 hours at Kaiser Woodland Hills where I work and will have surgery. The ortho dr reviewed again with me what might go wrong in the surgery. I blocked that out thinking of all the good food I want to eat when I get home post op. Chocolate yogurt with mini choc chips, salmon dinners with mashed spuds, liverwurst sandwiches made with Best Foods Real Whole Egg Mayonnaise and crisp lettuce. I snapped out of daydreaming when he said, "OK lie on the table and let me see something". He proceeded to twist and turn my right leg into positions it hasn't seen since I was 29 and square dancing. Crapola! It hurt! He did apologize for the pain, but said he had to know what muscles I still have left there. Then he made me stand on blocks under the left foot to see leg length difference; they are about 1/2 inch different, and I may need a left shoe lift after I recover. Then he said any questions, and I asked how many hip surgeries he does in one day and he said usually 3 but he will only do 2 next Friday because I might take longer than usual. He has to dig into the hip first before he can make decisions as to what size femur head ball to use, and what thickness socket liner to use, and whether to fracture and cut the femur and tighten the muscles to minimize leg length discrepancies. At that point I says, "OK!! So we are DONE here, I am ready for surgery, and I trust you and let's go for it."
I just wanted him to shut up, do this thing, and stop describing how he will wretch the femur head out of the socket and whack the hell out of muscles etc etc etc. When I was a kid having polio surgeries, I didn't have to know any details! I just had to show up, get surgitized, and then go home to recover without pissing Mom off too much. Now, the dr is giving me too much information!! ;))) I just want to get this over with, get the hell home, and figure out how to wipe me own buttocks after a dump. The "rules" say to not bend at the hips; ya cannot lean forward to make the hip and torso angle smaller than 90 degrees. YOU, dear reader, try to wipe yer butt without leaning forward. Is it doable? I think not.
I just might have to be smelly-butt-stinky-poo unless I humble myself and pay Jordan to wipe me.
So, to continue this saga, I had to get an EKG, donate pee in a cup to the lab; sit thru a very BORING pre-op teaching by a Chinese nurse; I could not understand a word she said except, "AH, I see yuuu here have surgaree soooon, nek weeee, riiii? O.K. I ter yuuu wha yuuu neee to noo, O.K.? Yuuu wrii yuu name heer dees foor pagges, and den I tak too yuu moor. O.K.?" I nodded "yes" like mad as she talked.
So I pretended to read 4 pages of crap, signed them, and put Lucy in reverse to back out of her office, but she caught me and wouldn't let me go until she did her spiel. I kept thinking of M*A*S*H* episodes, but this cookie was Chinese not Korean.
I survived her then submitted my papers up at the call center at work so I can get paid my sick time, convert some vacation hours to sick pay, and with that and state disability, we should be able to afford to keep living whilst recovering. But if any of you want to send money gifts to Mike while I am out of work... feel free to do so. (make the amount have lots of zeros behind the other numbers!!) Before I left the call center some acquaintances of mine waved good-by-see-ya-later and said, " let us know which room you are in so we can visit you in the hospital. " I said, "OK if you want to see my ass hanging out of the back of an open hospital gown." Guess what?? They all went ""EEEEEEUUUUUUUU"! Go figure.
I am so ready for surgery!
later Dudes!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Coming soon: a new hip

Tomorrow will be my last working day before my hip surgery May 11. My pre-op appts are Thursday May turd. I sure hope nothing stands in the way of surgery this time, like when dental problems postponed this surgery in March. I am more than ready to donate this right hip to the useless body parts pile! Since the dr told me my right knee pain comes from the arthritis in the right hip, I should be knee-pain free when I recover. Yeah! That would be such a blessing. When my knee hurts, it feels like a giant took a very large sledge hammer, slammed it into my knee and then sat on it for awhile. very painful. And when the weather changes, the hip joint itself screams out in terror as the arthritis runs amok chewing on muscles, tendons, ligaments, and anything else it can find to gnaw on. If the polio doctors hadn't scared me into believing joint replacement isn't good for polios, and that the outcome might not be positive, I would've been healed by now from hip surgery. But, what the hell. I made my decisions, poor as they might've been, and I live with them. Have done ok for an old polio fart if I do say so meself.
Oh, I talked to a ghost writer today and he/she agrees to blog for me about my situation and recovery while I am in the hospital. Cool, eh? Place your bets now on who you think it will be! Hint: fetgitaboutit! You have to guess!