Time to wrap up the saga of little brother. A sad, self-inflicted ending to a sad life, wasted in foggy self-administered (natural and man-made) drug coma, allowed because of denial of spiritual being, inability to seek other paths that may have brought self-esteem and perseverance, and a brilliant ability to attribute blame for one's situation onto anyone other than self. He'd cry out to God "if you're there" in his writings but never could get God to do the magic things immediately that were sought, thus cementing unbelief... like a child who doesn't get what he wants right away... throw a tantrum and walk away saying the hell with you.
He apparently thought he had at different times, two common-law wives, both of whom apparently OD'd and died leaving him in grief to muddle about and never relate substance abuse to possible death in others... but often hoping his own intake would result in the same outcome for him... which it never did... thus the chosen ending using a weapon of brain destruction that couldn't be remedied.
The hobby seemed to be to crap on "the man" whenever one could get away with it; beg, borrow (never paying back), or steal. No big deal if you had more that he had at the time because why would you miss what he needed when you seemed to have so much?
Classic portrayal of outward/inner man not matching; what you saw was not what you got if you wanted to get close to him. For no one could get close even a mother who thought he took such good care of her.
One man's reality, another man's fantasy.
Some day I may know how it truly finished as he went to meet the Spirit in the sky, however there will be no sorrow or grief for me because it is finished and I believe.
Don't waste your sorrows on him, me or anyone else but yourself until you can be certain of the One Who offers you salvation through The Cross: Jesus Christ Himself. A shroud has no pockets. At the final millisecond of your life here upon the earth, what else will TRULY matter?
5 comments:
Man, that is some heavy shit. I've been to 6 rodeo's, 3 goat ropes and finished the 10 grade and I'm still not sure what you said. Did you write that yourself or copy it out of some long forgotten Philosophers book.
She's saying that Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. God knew man couldn't get holy on his own, so He sent His son to earth to die and take the punishment for all mankind's sins, so that they might live eternally in His holy presence. Salvation is a free gift that we simply ask Jesus for and receive. That leads to a desire to know who is this Jesus that took my punishment? The Bible has the answers. Some refuse to seek there, while trying everything else under the sun to find purpose and truth. Despair is found on every path except the right one.
Anon, jus' sayin' what I needed to say to wrap it all up after pondering for many moons. Let the bullshitters throw the bullshit; I'll call it like I sees it.
Sad, but true. Truth shall set you free. We love John but must remember what really happened in his life. He did it all to himself and made his choices. Glad you got that out Ma. Love you.
You wrote what you felt, Jayney girl, as much as you "Knew" your bro. Who really knows another....we can only search for the truth in all of us....and the Good Lord gets us thru it ALL. Trust in HIM and he guides one...that is €--when we seek..., and ask. Thanks for this commentary. Your cuz appreciates it. Luv Ya, MAR
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